I just don’t know what it is that is making me feel this way.
I feel like I can’t concentrate on anything, I have no desire to work on or finish any sewing projects, my running is slacking big time, dog training has fallen to the wayside…so on and so forth.
I have been feeling stressed about money, and about the dockdogs club. I feel like if the club fails, or falls on its face, then it will reflect badly on me. The people who wanted me to step down just don’t understand that I still struggle with leaving the office and leaving the club. Although some are doing a very good job at alienating me from it, or at least trying, they just don’t get it. I’m not one of those people who just walks away from something and says figure it out on your own…I hate quitting. I feel like I failed.
But I have to let it go, for my own sanity. Because clearly there are some people who don’t like me and don’t want my help for whatever reason, and that’s perfectly fine. I will help the people who want/need my help, and that’s that. I will focus on myself, and my life and family and the things I want to do.
I’ve been batting around the ideas of doing some pet photography on the side, just to make a little extra money. I don’t want to compete with M’s dad’s business (I couldn’t probably touch it anyways!) and I don’t want to do weddings or anything (way too involved). But I love taking photos and I’m getting much better with Photoshop so it may be in the cards for me. We will just have to see.
I did offer to take some photos of a friend’s dogs, to work on building a portfolio up. Just in case I decide to try to make this work.
But back to the scatterbrained-ness. It even reflects in this post! Here, and then there, and then back to the point…awful! I can’t seem to get it in gear. I can see the things that I want to have and achieve, and I know the steps I need to take to get there, but when it comes to actually taking them…I’m at a loss…I just don’t know what to do…